When he comes home from school, dont just ask him what happened todayask him how he feels about it. Support is essential for a childs development and growth, no matter how old they are. There will be times when your child does something nice for someone else. Sometimes it is the child's spouse who demands distancing from family. This type of abuse can lead to anxiety and depression in the son. They want to be perfect in their eyes. This can lead to a cycle of poor treatment and resentment. This kind of behavior can hurt the sons mental health and affect his life as an adult. It can also be a way for the mother to control her son and make sure hes always including her in his plans. He sees how you react to situations and learns from your example. You might have heard the old saying, Mother knows best. But why do some sons have difficulty listening to or respecting their mothers? A son who treats his mother poorly might feel too restricted or micromanaged, or hes going through some issues. This can cause the son to become angry and resentful towards his mother. She bad-mouths her sons girlfriend or spouse. Well look at these below.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'littleninjaparenting_com-large-leaderboard-2','ezslot_7',151,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-littleninjaparenting_com-large-leaderboard-2-0'); Are you having trouble with your children? For the most part, the first thing Ive learned about sons who hate their mothers is that there is not a one-size-fits-all reason behind it. Yet, some also say its because of something more covert such as a slyly, manipulative mother. He might feel like he doesnt know how to relate to women because the woman who raised him made him feel uncomfortable around her. Some adult children deliberately abuse their parents and, if that is the case, then you should avoid this step. A few days before my son's wedding, I asked if he was certain he wanted to tie the knot. Its important to understand the reasons behind this behavior so that we can address it effectively. Heres common reasons why. This is especially true if shes asingle motherand has been through a divorce. Mothers who raised their children alone and are now outsiders. Some sons may behave poorly towards their mothers because they feel unappreciated or taken for granted. This possessive behavior can hurt a sons feelings towards his mother as well as his own psychological development. if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[250,250],'littleninjaparenting_com-leader-3','ezslot_14',154,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-littleninjaparenting_com-leader-3-0'); One of the main reasons a son will hate his controlling mother is because of the guilt she constantly makes him feel. This problem can have serious consequences for both the mother and the son, including feelings of isolation, low self-esteem, and even depression. She's hoping her experience with parenting and everything in between can help other moms navigate the complex world of motherhood. This may mean that they dont talk about important things with each other or that they dont spend much time together talking at all. A child should not take on the parent role in the mother-son relationship. Now there are always exceptions; but remember, theyre called exceptions for a reason, and not the rule. Some sons are jealous of their mothers relationship with their spouse. They may also resent her for not leaving the abuser when they had the chance. The key to a healthy mother-son relationship is communication. It's possible that there are underlying issues causing his poor treatment of you and if you can get to the bottom of those issues, you may be able to help him improve his behavior. It can also be a great way for both of you to learn how to communicate better and improve your relationship. 2. Let them donate toys they dont need. Some sons have personality issues that cause them to mistreat their mothers. Children can be rude because they havent lived long enough to know what else is out there. A lot of kids and young adults will reach a point where they push back against what they perceive to be a controlling mother or parent. This relationship between a mother and son is full of frustration and anger. Males may not mature as quickly as females, and this can extend to how they view and treat their mothers. eval(ez_write_tag([[320,50],'ciprofamily_com-mobile-leaderboard-1','ezslot_12',600,'0','0']));This list is by no means exhaustive, but it provides a starting point for those who are looking to improve their relationships with their mothers. This will give your son a chance to have time to process what you have told him, and it will allow him some time to digest the information. My Son Is Homeless (Facing Difficult Choices). Much of what they describe, while conflict-laden and uncomfortable, doesn't seem bad enough . document.getElementById( "ak_js_1" ).setAttribute( "value", ( new Date() ).getTime() ); Common Reasons Why Sons Treat Their Mothers Poorly, Tips for Creating a Healthy Mother-Son Relationship, Dont Be Afraid to Ask for Professional Help. You want to set boundaries for him and make sure he treats you with respect, but at the same time, you might have trouble letting go of the idea that he will always be a child and that any behavior is justwhat kids do.. This can lead to tension and arguments between them, and eventually estrangement. For example, a study in the academic journal Personal Relationships examined how adult attachment styles are influenced by how close the mother was to her children. We can spend all day listing everything our mothers do for us and how much they mean to us. (Reasons Why Guys Do This), When a Guy Friend Starts Acting Different: 6 Common Reasons, My Boyfriend Puts Me Down Jokingly (It Hurts, What to Do), My Husband Wants to Be Alone All the Time (How to Help Him), My Husband Picks on Everything I Do (What To Do). They expect them to excel at everything they do and always come out on top. If your mom knew or heard step dad's comments and didn't try to stop him, she is abusive too. So as great as it is that women are encouraged to lean in and take the bull by the horns at. Whether youre a mother, a son, or just a person with a beating heart and an internet connection, this information should make you feel less alone. A mother-son bond is important. Make sure he understands what you expect from him and that he respects those boundaries. Other times, sons may be mean to their mothers because they are going through a tough time in their own lives and take it out on the people closest to them. Theyre also hurting their mothers, who are often the closest people to them in the world. Everyone needs to recognize that this does not mean that a son does not love his mother. 5 Reasons Sons Treat Their Mothers Poorly, Signs Of An Unhealthy Mother-Son Relationship, How To Create A Healthy Mother-Son Relationship. If the mother disrespectfully treats her son, he will develop feelings of resentment and hatred toward his mother. Estrangement Doesn't Just Happen to "Bad" Moms It Happened to Me Too. Renowned clinical psychologist and respected university professor, Jordan B. Peterson, has addressed the mother-son relationship extensively via professional talks and books. In conclusion, it is clear that sons who treat their mothers poorly are likely to have a number of underlying issues. The login page will open in a new tab. This can be very frustrating for the son because he does not have a chance to express his feelings to his mother. Common Reasons Why Sons Treat Their Mothers Poorly. This problem is especially prevalent among African American and Hispanic families. if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'littleninjaparenting_com-banner-1','ezslot_6',108,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-littleninjaparenting_com-banner-1-0');Although this psychological study examined later-born, not first-born, boys, it did illustrate how mothers may treat their sons differently and, in turn, could lead to negative effects. In addition, she also taught education courses online as an adjunct professor, mentored numerous education interns, hosted professional development for educators, and tutored, as well as homeschooled. What happens when your son treats you poorly? They respond poorly to critique and have a high need for excessive praise. Jackie has been a teacher for many decades with awards and accolades from all across the country. Its important that you and others are there for your son if he needs someone to talk to about any issues hes experiencing. As such, Ive approached this topic sincerely and am happy to share with you what Ive learned about this paradoxical issue. Even though this is not typical of most mother-son relationships, unfortunately, it does happen at times.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[250,250],'littleninjaparenting_com-sky-4','ezslot_25',162,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-littleninjaparenting_com-sky-4-0'); To recap, some factors or causes leading to sons hating their mothers are: Although this is a complicated issue, I hope Ive shed some light on it for you. its a sign of an unhealthy mother-son relationship. In some cases, sons may even verbally or physically abuse their mothers if they are feeling particularly angry or frustrated. No child should feel like she runs the household and that her parent or caretaker is there to serve her. This can be a result of the mother feeling insecure in her own relationship with her son, or feeling like shes not getting enough attention from him. Lastly, if you want your son to grow up to be a responsible adult, it is important that you respect him as an adult. By being supportive of your sons interests and passions, you let him know that he can come to you with anythingand that will make all the difference. Interactions with your mom can be a . It gets harder for sons to trust. This is the conundrum. If you must give criticism, do so constructively and without belittling your son. This is a severe issue that should be dealt with immediately. He started this blog to help others find and define their own self development journey. Thats what youre supposed to do, as a parent. This final act of estrangement is a characteristic of sons who hate their mothers. Young sons rebel for a reason but with enough work, you can mend a broken relationship. It can be difficult for mothers to treat their adult son and daughter equally regarding discipline, love, and affection. Its normal for adult sons to have conflicts with their mothers. These sons also seem to portray a sense of avoidance when it comes to the nosy mother. Your email address will not be published. However, this type of mother can also be overbearing. The son may have felt abandoned by his mother or that the mother was uninterested in him. Here are some types of dysfunctional mother-son relationships: The Oedipal mother-son relationship is one in which the son perceives his mother as a sexual rival. Other times, a son might act out because he wants attention from his mother. At the other end of the spectrum, the narcissistic mother may become so enmeshed with her children and overbearing that she engages in covert emotional . There are a few things to keep in mind when trying to communicate effectively with your son. A sons relationship with his mother not only helps the son form his very own identity but also influences how he interacts with others, including other women, later on in life. Sons who hate their mothers may exhibit the following traits: Aggressive behavior Avoidance and detachment in relationships Distrust of females Emotional issues in childhood and in adult life What's tricky to comprehend, though, is that a son from an abusive mother will just as likely love her as hate her. Read More: How To Get Kids To Do Chores Without Nagging? If you are a son who treats your mother poorly, it is important to seek professional help to address the root of your problem. Another way to help sons understand how much their behavior hurts is for their mothers to write them letters. 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